Sunday, April 16, 2006

Newton - 2006

Recently the father of physics(Newton) made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Indian movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done.

In the movie of Mithun Chakravarthy Newton dada was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Mithunda has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Mithunda is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Mithunda

2) In one of the movies, Mithunda is confronted with 2 gangsters. Mithunda has a Gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does.......
He holds a knife in his hand and shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters. Then, Mithunda utters the following dialogue "Apun ka naam hai HIRA, Apun ne sabko Chiraa".

3) Mithunda is chased by a gangster. Mithunda has a revolvver but he got no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Mithunda opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....

4) The heroine is tied to an electric chair and the remote is in the hands of the villain about 100 km away. As usual, the villain confronts the hero saying "Hathiyar phek do warna main yeh remote ka button dabake tumhari mehbooba ko mar doonga".
The usual fight occurs and just as the hero makes the final blow, the villain dies but not before he presses than damn button. Now what to do? Sure enough, there is a horse and the hero jumps on it. Now there is a race: The current in the cable connected to the electric chair is moving fast but our hero and his horse are desparately trying tocatch up.... goes on for a few km and just as the current would hit the chair, the hero jumps from the horse and picks the girl away from the chain and husssshhhh. She is saved. The poor electric current only goes to an empty chair. Climax, taaalian. Hero! Hero!! Hero!!!

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely pissed off and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a Rajnikanth movie for one last time and thought that atleast one movie will follow his theory of physics.

The whole movies goes fine and newton is happy that all in the world hasnt changed. Oops not so fast. The climax finally arrives.Rajni gets to know that the villian is on the the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajni can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajni has to desparalety kill the villian because its the climax Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).. Rajni suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall ,he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villian is dead.

Newton faints !!!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Never Lie...

The characters and the story is just an imagination.

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for
dinner, who lives with a girl
roommate Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't
help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship
between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the
course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started
to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the
eye. Reading his mom's thoughts,
Kumar volunteered, "I know what you
must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying,
"Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the
silver chutney jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Kumar said,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, ! just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar
from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney
jar.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were
here
for dinner.

Love,
Kumar.


Several days later, Kumar received an email from his
Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and
I'm not saying that you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact
remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found
the chutney jar by now under the pillow...

Love,
Mom.

Lesson of the day: Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is
Indian!!!